I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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