I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
