He asked me if I "almost moaned"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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