Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
