drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Everything about him screamed your future.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
