He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
