I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
This is the high leading the old right now
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize