i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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