He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
