what day is it and did you see me today?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
