just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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