there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
as a side note pls kill me
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
