And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
