Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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