somebody snuck up and got me drunk
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
