Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
