I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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