I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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