wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
