I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Brb crying the tears of my youth
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