I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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