Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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