i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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