The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
it's great music for shaving your balls
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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