Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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