oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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