you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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