I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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