i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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