She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
