chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
