I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
