best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My feet surprised me
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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