In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
