I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
