I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
