apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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