Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've blown a few things in my day
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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