Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
