All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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