my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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