I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
