This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
