I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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