what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
