If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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