i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
