If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
