they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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