I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
