how can u be prego again
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
