So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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