Operation Purity has been aborted
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
