his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
try to milk me bitch
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