I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
