You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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