so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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