I love black thongs
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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