just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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