Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
They have beer where we have blood.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize