The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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