After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
