He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
