Whod you bang
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
