i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
