Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
